Turning Thirty: Self Love, Learning to Let Go and Other Lessons Learned. / by Didier Young

I celebrated my birthday a week ago and while it means the beginning of a new year in my life, it also meant the start of a brand new decade. That’s right, I finally hit the milestone that is thirty. Of course, age is merely a number but after sticking around for thirty years, you pick up a thing or two and you get to learn from your mistakes and experiences.

First let’s talk about love. In today’s society, I feel that we often question if people love us. In fact, with our online presence, it is easy to think that people hate us or that we are out of someone’s graces because we weren’t invited to a party where everyone else seems to be IG storying from. Most of all, I think that our social media lives have taken a toll on how we view ourselves and our self love. We are so busy comparing ourselves to others and reading into those minute details, as if they were the only indications that we are appreciated. We need to remember that the amount of invites we get, the number of likes and comments are not a direct reflection of our worth. We need to remember that we need to love ourselves first before others can love us.

I had a breakup a year and a half ago that shattered my world. You’d always think that getting your heart broken would get easier with practice but it honestly doesn’t. I was left in a vulnerable and very sensitive state of mind and I suppose that in a way I became increasingly needy of people’s acceptance and support. I needed others to replace the love that I had just lost and I expected people to notice this void in my life even though I didn't explicitly show it. Much like every heartbroken soul out there, I started reading into people’s actions far more than I should have and I reacted irrationally far too often. In the process, I lost people whom I thought were close to me. Now that I look back in hindsight, it was all silly. I could have handled the whole situation in a more graceful way but then again it is far easier to think about it all calmly once you have made peace with your past and moved on to a better place. I am now happily in love once again and I wish all the best to the people who aren't in my life anymore.

I spent most of my 20s believing that I should be unapologetic of the things I do. In a way, that is still valid: you shouldn’t apologize for the way you choose to dress, for sharing your beliefs or for the way you are. The one thing that you shouldn’t be though is stubborn. If you did something wrong, you should learn to apologize for it. I learnt that being right all the time doesn’t make anyone happy in the long run and if you were wrongful, there is no shame is admitting it. It doesn’t make you a weaker person to admit that you were wrong but rather a stronger one.

I also wish that my younger self had invested more in Louis Vuitton bags. That is only a half joke as I do wish that I had spent less money on fast fashion and far more on investment pieces. We tend to consider fast fashion clothing as being highly disposable and unfortunately, that is neither good for your wallet nor the environment. Of course, this doesn’t apply solely to fashion. In every aspect of my life, I wish I had invested more in long term rather than the short term options. At thirty, I still have time to turn things around obviously but for all the younglings out there, start investing on the good stuff. You won’t regret it!

Much like Carrie Underwood said: “There’s some things that I regret, some words I wish had gone unsaid”. However, we cannot turn back time and change those things so the best thing to do is to concentrate on the good side. Forgive but do not forget. Adapt but do not forget. Turn all the ghosts of your past into lessons learned.

-Didier

OUTFIT DETAILS: Jumper: Sandro/ Pants: Sandro/ Sneakers: Saint Laurent/