You know those people who endlessly reminisce about their high school glory days? Not me. I hated high school. Like most kids with a creative inclination, I was persecuted and bullied for not indulging in the banalities of my peers. I was different and the other kids did not like it. From there started the name calling and the body shaming, both from people I dreaded and from others I thought were friends. One year, I was called obese and the next I was deemed anorexic. I was made fun of for idiotic things like having freckles. After I graduated, I finally started to blossom into the person that I was meant to be. I became more confident and prouder of who I was. I finally shed the insecurities that had been thrust upon me for years. At least, that what I thought.
I have tried numerous times to write about the subject. Many a blog post was started but none was completed. Perhaps I was worried about showcasing a more vulnerable side of me but above all, I started feeling a sense of depression as I was writing it all down. I thought I was okay but recently, I’ve started feeling the same sense of self doubt that I used to except for one key difference: this time around, it was self inflicted. As an adult, I have occasionally met a few dislikable characters but on the grand scheme of things, everyone has been absolutely charming. I have finally found a home in a community of creative individuals that understood my struggles and accepted me for who I am. Watching them grow alongside me has been fantastic but at times, it is hard not to compare my own personal growth compared to theirs.
I know that I have no grounds to complain. After all, I grew a fair amount since I started my blog and social media and the online community has always been so supportive and kind to me. However, it is easy to fall in that dark place where you start wondering why you weren’t included in a specific campaign or invited to an event that was organized by a PR company that you have worked with before. If you are not careful, you’ll start doubting the quality of your content and soon enough, you’ll find yourself thinking that perhaps you have grown boring or that you have lost your appeal to your audience. While all of this may sound very vain, it is the reality that I face at least a couple times a week. I am sharing my story because I know that a lot of my peers have felt this way to varying degrees. I just wanted to let you guys know that it’s okay and that you are not alone. You are not the only person feeling this way and that a fall in engagement does not decrease your worth.
If this ever happens to you, text a friend. Talk to a family member. It does not have to be about your social media issues but the simple interaction with someone who loves you is a huge help. Take a small break from social media and resource and if it all fails, just do as I do: Go shopping. It never fails to cheer me up.
Outfit details: Jacket and pants from Gap X Lot, Stock & Barrel/ Tank top from H&M/ Sunglasses from ACNE studios/ Shoes by Nike X Comme Des Garcons